Tag Archives: parenting

Don’t mess with my sister

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, July 5, 2016

I have two typical teenagers who constantly pick on each other. Yes, my 17 year-old son Dylan and 15 year-old daughter Daylyn are amazing kids, but they enjoy getting under each other’s skin.

During the summer, both kids are attending the strength and conditioning camp at their high school. Each of them competes in separate groups according to their sports.

On one particular day, Daylyn was struggling during the weight room session and was feeling embarrassed. Dylan left all his buddies and came to Daylyn’s rescue to let everyone know that big brother has her back.

Hopefully, as we’ve all discovered as parents and siblings ourselves, when it comes down to it, kids truly love and care about each other, even though at home, you sometimes question it.

My only sibling growing up was my sister Karen Tepera Franklin. We are only 11 months apart, with Karen being the oldest. She actually hates being older now.

Karen and I picked on each other, too, but we were always each other’s biggest fan.

I remember as a young kid playing sandlot football, there was Karen on the sideline yelling for me like it was the Super Bowl. She continued as I competed in all my sports through school.

In high school, Karen wanted to try out for head twirler into her senior year. We would be in the yard for hours a day learning all the cool tricks and moves. Karen was self-taught and had amazing talent.

Believe it or not, I was actually a really good closet twirler. I didn’t want my buddies to know.

I was there the day Karen had tryouts to cheer her on. I remember being nervous for her, and then she won the head position. I was so proud of her.

Even to this day, in our personal and corporate worlds, Karen and I still support all of our endeavors. Yes, we still pick on each other for our faults, but no one else is allowed.

Just know, it’s normal for your kids to pick on each other, too. I sometimes look at it like two bear cubs. Fighting and arguing is part of the bonding process.

I think we can all agree, nothing is stronger than family. Take the time today and let your kids know how awesome and lucky they are to have each other — for life.

If you haven’t spoken to your own sibling in quite some time, then today is the day to give them call — just to say, “I really do miss the good old days. I’m lucky to have you. I love you.”

Learn to take in the ‘now’

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, June 21, 2016

I’m sure everyone has some form of stress in their lives. The only difference is how we deal with it. It’s so easy to let our minds get overwhelmed and give ourselves different levels of depression.

I too, will sometimes catch myself dwelling on negative situations that occurred in the past, including forecasting negative stress that might not even occur in the future.

Lately, I’ve been training myself to take in the “now.” It’s right now where life is the best. I’m as healthy as possible for a 54 year old man. My kids are happy and experiencing the life I’ve created for them. My medical job has crazy stress, but I’m fortunate to make a decent living.

The emails I receive from you readers gives me an overwhelming sense of worthiness to people outside my family circle. I share most of them with my kids to which it has tremendous impact on their desire to help others as well.

You might not realize it, but all of you out there are helping me raise teenagers to be compassionate adults.

I don’t want to go back in time because I’m so much wiser, humble and love all people more than I could ever imagine.

I know a man in his mid-40s who still whines and complains from a dysfunctional mom he had growing up. To this day, he uses that excuse as a reason for all his misbehaviors and inability to find happiness and success.

I told him that it’s impossible to re-ring that bell. Nothing can change the past, but you have complete control of the now. You get to write your own destiny.

Think of all the situations that could be worse and appreciate the now. Don’t even think about tomorrow. Overwhelm yourself with the emotions of how incredible life is right now. Go-ahead, make yourself laugh, cry or both. Take deep long breaths and feel the presence of the now.

Recently, my son Dylan had his first flat tire on his car. It occurred during all this crazy rain we’ve been experiencing. I thought of this moment as a great learning experience to which he learned to change a flat in adverse weather conditions.

To me, it was a cool moment because I was taking in the now. I blended in with Mother Nature and enjoyed every drop.

No matter what is going on in your life, you are here today and this is the now.

One person can affect a whole city

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Recently, I was explaining to my son Dylan about the financial impact that superstar athletes have on their cities. For example: LeBron James generates over $100 million annually from tourists to the city of Cleveland through hotels, restaurants, shopping, transportation and so on.

I continued explaining, to think about all the families who were able to raise their children and have a decent living — all because of one person.

That’s why when LeBron left the city, he did more than disappoint the fans in winning a championship with the Miami Heat. Cleveland, Ohio, really did lose its king.

The whole reason for having this conversation with my 17-year-old son is I want him to start thinking about how he can influence his community.

Dylan replied to me that there is only one LeBron James. I told him, “You’re absolutely right, and there is only one Dylan Tepera.”

You see, Dylan has one more year left in high school, and then it’s off to college. But, I want him to create a career to help others and bring goodness to all.

Don’t just think about working in a corporate environment where you’re being told what to do on a daily basis. Yes, you can start there to learn about the real world, but you must have the desire to go beyond.

At an early age, I instilled in my children to own their own businesses and create a brand that makes people’s lives better. When you’ve accomplished this, then you’ve succeeded.

Don’t worry about the income. Money will follow and grow when you’ve created a brand of integrity and passion.

Now you must think about you. It doesn’t matter that you’ve settled into a comfortable living. We must all find a way to help others. It’s as simple as volunteering to an organization in your hometown.

Look around and see where there’s a need. Try to find a way to generate money or get others involved to help charities or people in need.

We must all act now because we only have a short time on this earth. We are neighbors and in this world together. Our destiny is to inspire and have a positive influence in life.

Now’s the time to separate yourself

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Are you bored with your life? Have you allowed yourself to become complacent with the same old routine each day?

Look around and notice, you’re probably wearing the same style of clothes as everyone else your gender and age. And sadly, you’re probably just as out of shape and overweight.

We are all creatures of habit. It’s our way of staying organized and possibly less stressed. But there are many of you whose routine isn’t going anywhere productive.

Maybe now’s the time to separate yourself from the average person. Be the silent leader by changing diet, exercise and lifestyle.

You will find it very rewarding and encouraging when people ask, “Something is different about you. You look good. Did you lose weight?”

My son Dylan is a junior in high school. His basketball season ended around two months ago. Afterward, we had a serious discussion to find a way to separate him from all the other players since he will become a senior and in his final season.

Our plan is to add as much muscle mass as possible and to work on speed and vertical leap.

What most people don’t understand is you typically don’t see results from training until after at least a month. If you can stick with it past that time, then body changes start kicking in and keep rolling.

Dylan didn’t have any weight increases during the first month, even though he was eating six meals a day. He also brings food to school to eat between classes.

But now, a little more than two months into training, he has gained 12 pounds of solid muscle, massively increased strength and added almost 2 inches to his vertical.

You see, Dylan is the average height of 6-feet, 1 inch like the majority of players on his team. But I guarantee next season he will be the biggest, fastest and strongest.

Now, it’s time for you to separate yourself from co-workers or teammates. Put a plan together, stick with it, and take your life to a whole new level.

One play can win a game or change your life

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, April 5, 2016

How many times have you played or watched a sporting event in which one play turned the game around?

Think about it — one shot, one block, one hit, one spike, one tackle, and so on.

Most of the time, this is extremely important while the clock is winding down.

Before every basketball game my son Dylan plays, I remind him that one shot doesn’t lose the game, but one shot will win it. He knows to take the shot.

How about the one play in our daily lives? What’s the one situation or the person who has changed your life? Maybe, it was a job opportunity, kind words during a difficult time, or even money and help when you desperately needed it.

Remember, to make it a truly life-altering event, you must be all in. No turning back to old ways and habits.

There had been many situations where one play enhanced my life.

One of the biggest events was more than 10 years ago, becoming a single parent raising two kids practically on my own. I had to immediately break some bad habits and become the best role model possible.

This not only gave my kids a wonderful loving life, but created amazing opportunities for me as well.

I know other people who’ve had one negative play that changed their life forever.

A friend of mine saw herself in Christmas pictures this past December. She came to me shaking and crying with embarrassment asking for help. I let her know that she’s already won the biggest battle because of her commitment and desire.

This lady is on a mission and has lost over 20 pounds in three months.

Let’s admit it, we’ve all had one-play events in our lives, but how many of you have been the one play in other’s lives? It’s as simple as an act of kindness.

Look around and reach out. Hopefully, your name comes up when someone confesses the one play that changed their life.

In what chapter of life are you?

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, March 22, 2016

We all go through different phases and chapters throughout our journey of life. What chapter are you experiencing today compared to yesteryears?

I’m in my mid-50s, and today’s chapter is completely different from my 40s and beyond.

One common denominator is that I’ve always maintained a decent diet and exercised frequently. As I progressed through my 30s and to date, my knowledge and experience in these categories excelled. That’s because I understand keeping a healthy body is important for a better quality of life.

Hopefully, as you get older, you are recognizing this as well.

But really, most important is our character development. Over the past 10 years, I started a personal campaign to become a loving, caring and compassionate person to all mankind. This has drastically changed my life.

I learned to forgive those who wrong me by understanding their reasons and through time, was able to erase it from my daily consciousness. This mental action relieved me from tremendous unnecessary stress. Plus, it opened the door for peace and relaxation.

We get caught up stressing over negative situations that should be in our pasts.

Once, my daughter Daylyn had another student say some very hurtful words to her. I found Daylyn crying in her room and asked about the situation.

After a brief loving father-daughter talk, I asked when this had happened. To my surprise, it occurred more than a month ago.

I told Daylyn, “Don’t you realize, only in your mind this person is still being mean to you because you’re letting it? I guarantee the other student has moved on with their life and doesn’t give you one thought. Forgive their immature idiotic behavior and be the amazing happy little girl everyone loves.”

Can’t we all relate to Daylyn’s situation?

Just know, if someone is being ugly to you, it’s because there is something about you that makes them jealous and envious. If they are comfortable with themselves, they wouldn’t care.

Come on, let’s all write the same new chapter in life for character development to become compassionate toward others. We are in this journey together, and hopefully one day, we will cross paths.

Formula helps coaches reach kids

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, February 23, 2016

We all love to hear compliments from others. It typically inspires and motivates us to elevate ourselves with the tasks at hand.

Recently, a parent friend of mine named Scott volunteered to coach youth sports. Scott was asking my advice for a method to get kids to listen and be encouraged to learn the skills he was teaching.

Each year, there are a lot of new parent volunteer coaches and maybe this article might be of help. Also, parents just know I use this same technique on my own kids to get them to complete chores and other responsibilities.

The formula I’ve put together is as follows: compliment — explain problem or skill needed — solution — encouragement.

Let’s take youth soccer for our example. Little Bobby keeps kicking the ball with the front tip of his cleats, which is very common among beginners. I’ve been trying to teach him, but he’s not correcting the mistake.

I start off telling Bobby how impressed I am with his speed and how he is one of the fastest players on the team. But, if you would start kicking the ball on the proper placement of your cleats, then I could move you into a position to score points.

As long as you keep kicking with the front part of cleats, I’ll have to keep you in a defensive position. Bobby, you’re an amazing player and we are lucky to have you on our team. I know you can do this. Now, give me a high-five and show me what you’ve got.

I guarantee Bobby feels great about himself and starts doing his best to kick properly.

For all you youth soccer coaches, here’s a little trick that helps kids to kick properly.

I would put white medicine tape on the contact areas of cleats, so when they get dirty, the kids know the kicks were correct.

Now, when it comes to disciplining our kids, I’m sure most of us learned old-school methods from our parents, if you know what I mean. But, try my formula. It has worked very well for me to which my kids have learned to stay responsible.

Encourage kids to dream big

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Remember when we were kids with dreams of becoming movie stars, rock stars and professional athletes? But as we became older, the real world came crumbling down and our dreams faded away.

Why does that have to happen? Why can’t we live out the biggest dreams imaginable? Someone is doing it. Why not us?

When my son Dylan was 10 years old, he played Little League Baseball. After one of his amazing performances, the coach gave him the game ball. My dad, his grandpa, had Dylan autograph the ball and told him to practice signing baseballs because one day he’ll be a famous player.

That moment actually impacted me. I thought it was a great idea because Dylan dreamed of one day becoming a professional athlete. His biggest desire is to play in the NBA, for basketball is his passion.

When Dylan was in seventh grade and a star player for his school’s basketball team, he had a teacher who was the biggest LSU fan. Dylan happened to win an LSU basketball at the amusement park in Kemah. I had him autograph the ball, put the date on it and give to his teacher. I told him that one day you’ll be famous and that ball will be her treasure.

Dylan is now 17 years old and still has dreams of being involved in the NBA. I explained to him to keep those dreams because it will happen if you put in the work.

I let him know, LeBron James is a historian of the game. He knows the history and stats of all past players who paved the way to present day NBA.

Larry Bird was known to be at the basketball arena three hours before each game to practice all his shots.

Erik Spoelstra, the Miami Heat’s head coach, started out as a nobody breaking down the opponent’s film before Pat Riley gave him the break of a lifetime. As we all know, Spoelstra went on to coach in four NBA championships and won two of them.

Now it’s your turn to be a parent, and your children are having those same big dreams. Are you encouraging and supporting them? All kids want to make their parents proud, so embrace these special moments. Even if they don’t become NBA players, they’ll succeed in the game of life.

Our children are the future and a product from our parenting.

Determination can knock down barriers

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, February 2, 2016

In 1995, I was the boys head soccer coach at La Marque High School. At that time, there had never been any girls teams.

Well, there was this one pesky little freshman girl named Mandi Tapia who kept bugging me to be in my boys soccer class. She even refused to go to her assigned P.E. class and argued with the counselors.

Eventually I sat Mandi down and explained that she could be in my class and join in all the training, but she would not be able to play this year. Instead she could be a manager and a ball chaser.

At first I tried to modify the workouts to be easier for a female. Mandi rejected the modifications and worked at the same pace as the boys. To my surprise, she applied more effort and determination with impressive skills than some of the other guys.

The following season, Mandi recruited two other young ladies named Kelly O’Dell and Selene Valdez to join the soccer class.

I was also a football coach during the 1990s state championship run under Alan Weddell. My soccer offseason program mimicked the same intensity we put those football players through.

If these young ladies want to compete against young men, they would need to prove their physical and mental toughness. Yet again, they stood the test with Mandi becoming one of the leaders.

Well, that season all three girls made the boys JV team and were the only females to play boys soccer in the entire district. Sometimes it was quite humorous to see opponents’ boys getting frustrated with girls scoring and slide tackling them.

These ladies taught me and their male counterparts that when you hit the field, there’s no boys and girls, just a bunch of determined athletes.

Because of their efforts and through Mandi’s leadership, these girls and I petitioned the school and added the first-ever La Marque girls soccer team in 1997.

Recently Mandi and I had an opportunity to talk and reflect back on those special years. Mandi told me her experience in my soccer program was influential in her becoming the successful woman she is.

But what I want Mandi Tapia to know is that once pesky little freshman girl influenced the way I’m raising my daughter.

Don’t look defeated, show determination

By DAVID TEPERA | Posted: Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Recently I attended my daughter’s volleyball tournament, and a few of the teams were more highly skilled than others.

During the tournament, Daylyn’s team played one of the higher-skilled teams. And quickly, the other team was dominating on the scoreboard.

Most of the girls, including Daylyn, were hanging their heads and had the look of defeat even though the game was only half way over. And yes, of course, they got slaughtered.

After the game, Daylyn told me she was embarrassed and disappointed with her and the team’s performance.

I told her, you will always face stronger opponents in everything you compete in, but don’t let them see you’re mentally defeated. Instead, show your opponents and teammates the look of determination.

Show everyone that you might be getting beat on the scoreboard, but you’re still going to out-hustle everyone on the court and give your very best.

Now, think about it. We all face challenging situations in our everyday lives. Sometimes, we feel like we’re getting beat up and want to drop our heads and give up. This will only make us feel more disappointed in ourselves.

Don’t let your opponents or situations know they are defeating you. Learn to create a game face with grit, determination and fight your way back into the game of life.

Just know, Daylyn was in that game situation again, but she had the look of a warrior and battled to the end.

If a 15-year-old athlete can learn life lessons, so can you.

Now, go look in the mirror, make the scariest game face imaginable, and tell yourself that no one will defeat you again. Take a mental picture and next time you’re feeling defeated, pull out that game face and win the day.

From this day forward, defeated is no longer a part of me. This world will only see determination.